Way too long!!!

I haven't posted here on way too long! So much has happened and I must just do a basic post to catch up on everything! First of all... Chris and I got engaged two weeks ago!! What a wonderful day it was, I cannot begin to explain the excitement I feel about this. God has blessed me over and over again and what a blessing he gave me with Chris. He truly is that other half of me and I am a better person when I am with him and I love him for that. We've grown closer to God through and with eachother and mostly by eachother's example. Time and time again we have asked God to glorify us and our relationship and oh he has! I cannot even count the ways!

My goal in this engagement period was an inspiration from my friend Christy. We all have a calling in God's Kingdom and we strive to glorify him through that calling. A few days after I got engaged I was over at Christy's house sharing the excitement and she expressed how this was a commitment and we needed to figure out our calling as a couple. Pray with me and for us as we pray to learn how we can glorify God together and what we can do as a couple to further his Kingdom! I must go to sleep now but I wanted to give a quick little update! It feels good to be back in the Blog World after a month!

Who are we to judge?

At the end of my small group last Tuesday we began to talk about judging and how we treat the rich differently than the poor. I left feeling slightly convicted although nobody knew. I am guilty of this in my work constantly. I sit in the back office of my retail clothing store and when a car pulls up I do what we call a "car profile." I make my opinion of whether I think they will buy or not buy something. I constantly do this and I felt extremely convicted and ashamed. What I find ironic is that people could easily do a car profile on me, my car is 11 years old and it doesn't bother me a bit. I'm not even a car person! Chris is and constantly is amazed at how I just want whatever used car is next in line for me to get. Yes, I have a dream car but I don't actually expect to drive it one day. I then prayed for the Lord to help me push away my judgmental spirit and to love all of his people. The Lord really did help me, there were a few times when the thoughts came to my head and I had to push them away but I felt better about my new attitude towards customers.

Last night we began talking about judgment again except from a different perspective. We began to talk about how we judge other's actions and their sins. Let's face it sin is sin, no if's and's or but's about it. We all have sins we try to sweep under the rug and just ignore because we don't think its that big of a deal. However, we notice what other people's sins are. When the truth is, there is usually always a reason for the way people act and we haven't lived in their shoes. We cannot judge, we have not been judged by God and he shows us constant mercy so we must show mercy ourselves. God loves those who we judge and we are just as deserving of judgment as those who we judge so we just can 't do it. It is very plain and simple, love those who God loves and judge those who God judges. Since he loves all we should love all and since he judges no one we should judge no one.

Anticipation

We're all anticipating things that are to come. Right now I have two friends anticipating babies. One has a due date of February 7th. The other is adopting from Uganda, her baby could be born or could be about to be born. She is anticipating that she will get to go to Uganda and bring home her new bundle of joy in June of next year. Like I said, we are all anticipating things. On the other end of this is God and his humor and timing. Even my friends anticipating their new babies don't know exactly when they will be able to hold that baby in their arms. In our culture and world it is hard to anticipate. We want to know when and by that I mean exact dates. I am the worst about this, and it drives those around me crazy.

I told yall before I am the queen of countdowns. I like to know exactly how many days there are until the next thing or event I am anticipating. In life we just can't always know this. So what are we to do? Well I pray that in my life when I am in these situations and come across these situations that I can pray and rest in God that his timing is the right timing and he knows what is best. All I have to do is rest in the fact that he knows what he is doing and it is not my job to worry about the anticipation. My friend Bonnie used to have this quote, "Good morning, this is God. I will be handling all of your problems today. I do not need your help. Have a great day." That ranks right up there with my other quote, "Worrying is like rocking in a rocking chair. You can rock all day long but you're never gonna get anywhere." So just rest. Just be in God's love and rest there.

Life Before Me

I love how God speaks to me. Timing is truly everything and he is amazing. Tonight I just experienced a bit of God's timing but first let me tell you about God's timing that has been going on in my life the past week.

For about a month I have been saying I wanted to talk to Janeese Spencer about some things going on in my life that I wanted to share with her. By my own accord I had just been putting it off. Well then last Tuesday I get a phone call and message from none other but Janeese saying that the Lord had just put me on her heart to pray for and she just wanted to let me know she was praying for me. Well God I got the hint, you want me to go talk to her! So I call her back tell her about God's humor in all of this and we make plans to meet Sunday afternoon. Over the weekend I was thinking about what I wanted to talk to her about and I couldn't really put it into words and wasn't sure how to explain it. Then all of a sudden Sunday morning Lester preaches a sermon that is exactly what I had been going through and put the words in my mouth. So Sunday I go talk to Janeese knowing exactly what to say. I can't thank God enough for that afternoon because she understood what I was feeling and it just put everything at ease. God's timing and how he works to get to us is truly amazing.

Well this week has been a sad week in Montgomery. Death at a young age has been on my mind a lot this week with the death of Cole Ellis on Monday. It makes us realize how short our lives, and the lives of those around us can be. Well then I pull out Crazy Love by Francis Chan which I have just started reading. (Great book by the way!) I am at a part in the book that is talking about being ready if it is your time. There is a certain excerpt in the book that I just had to share with you. It was an essay by a 14 year old girl named Brooke who would give out Bibles to those around her as her way of sharing Jesus.

"Since I have my Life Before Me" by Brooke Bronkowski

I'll live my life to the fullest. I'll be happy. I'll brighten up. I will be more joyful than I have ever been. I will be kind to others. I will loosen up. I will tell others about Christ. I will go on adventures and change the world. I will be bold and not change who I really am. I will have no troubles but instead help others with their troubles.
You see, I'll be one of those people who lives to be history makers at a young age. Oh I'll have moments, good and bad, but I will wipe away the bad and only remember the good. In fact that's all I remember, just good moments, nothing in between, just living my life to the fullest. I'll be one of those people who go somewhere with a mission, an awesome plan, a world-changing plan, and nothing will hold me back. I'll set an example for others, I will pray for direction.
I have my life before me. I will give others the joy I have and God will give me more joy. I will do everything God tells me to do. I will follow the footsteps of God. I will do my best!!!


Brooke died in a car accident at 14. Between this story I came across and the tragedy about Cole Ellis it got me thinking, I do have my life before me. We all have our lives before us but that includes the reality that this life could be a day, a year, or fifty years. What am I going to do with that life? I found myself admiring this fourteen year old girl. I need to live in a way that is representing God and while I hope and pray that it is a lifelong goal and mission to represent God for many years to come, I want to be able to glorify him no matter how little or how great of a life I have before me.

It's Already Taken Care Of...

Sorry I haven't posted in a while... life just gets going and its super busy and crazy to keep up with everything. I had an amazing weekend topped off with a full Sunday. Sunday at Church Lester preached on trusting God and his last story was about Agreements. He explained this in a way that we all know but have never thought about before. These agreements we have made stop us from trusting God. They are when the Enemy comes into our head and convinces us of these lies about ourselves. In the book Walking with God, John Eldredge talks about these agreements. They can be different for different people but they tend to be along the lines of, "I'm not good enough", "I'll never be able to do that", etc. These are things we all do and it doesn't matter what your agreements you have made are, you have to break them and pray over each of them that you will no longer believe those lies and that God is more powerful than those agreements and loves you.

Later that afternoon, I was talking to an amazing Christian woman about my life and some of these agreements I have about myself and some of my worries and fears. Sometimes we get into these holes where it is so hard to get past those things and we pray things like, "God, please help me to put these fears behind me." She explained God's power and love in a way that I have never thought of before. I always pray that God will help me get through something, or take away my fears or worries. What she explained was that God has already done this. When Jesus died and was resurrected on the cross his power overcame all of our worries, anxieties, fears, troubles. Bad things will come but we have to rest in the fact that we don't have to wonder if we can overcome our problems because God has already overcome them for us. We just have to walk in faith with him and absorb ourselves in his Word. Hearing that in a different way just gave me so much confidence. I walked out of that conversation feeling like I could take on everything because I was walking with God. Its had me on a sort of high since Sunday afternoon. The typical things I let bother me have just faded away and I know that he has it all taken care of and I just have to rest!

Parenting 101

Well this week as I told yall earlier I have been watching our friend's son Porter. Now some of you may know Porter and understand that he is basically the male child version of the Energizer Bunny. I mean he NEVER quits! He has TONS of energy! Now flash back to those of you who know me and know how I love to lay around and be lazy and curl up and sleep in, etc. As you can imagine, that part of me is on hold until Wednesday night. While I'm not ready to be a full time parent, it has been super fun and a definite learning experience. I am surrounded by friends who are wonderful patients and between watching them and learning what I have learned, I realize the biggest trait of a parent is being unselfish. Your needs are pushed to the bottom of the barrel as you focus on your child and what they need or want. Your money goes to them, your time goes to them, your heart goes to them, your spouse goes to them and it becomes all about giving. Now all that giving is given back to you a million times over (from what I hear) because of the love and joy you receive as a parent from your children.

My friend April is 5 1/2 months pregnant- her due date is February 7th. I'm so excited for her and this is definitely a major miracle on God's part as it was difficult for her and her sweet husband Matt to get pregnant. Tomorrow while her husband is rocking out on the bass guitar on a riverboat cruise, I will be at her very first Parenting class with her. I'm so proud of her and I know her and know that as soon as that sweet baby Amy Kate is here that April and Matt will put her needs above their own as any good parent does. Overall, I think this week is my parenting 101 class. I pray that God will bless me with the heart I need when it is that time but the 1st half of my parenting 101 class has taught me that....

1- I will babysit anytime any of you need! I love kids and love spending time with them and their sweet fun personalities.
2- I'm not ready! I love my personal time and more than that I love my time with Chris! I know that when that day comes I will be ready and I will have wonderful friends that are also wonderful parents that will help me along the way!

Pleasant Surprises and Fears

I am rarely surprised and I if I know something good is coming (like Christmas presents) and I don't know what it is, it drives me CRAZY! However, I love when thigns happen that pleasantly surprise me. I am always bugging Chris about what and if he gets to sing in addition to playing guitar at church on Sundays. I never knew how much I would love being with someone with such musical talent. Some of you may recall the first "serenade" I was given shortly after we started dating. That night still ranks among one of the best nights of my life. Well I knew Chris was leading the music and was singing "Here is Our King" today. At the 11:00 service I was pleasantly surprised when after the music set the rest of the band left the stage as Chris stood there playing his guitar and sang the first few lines of "We Fall Down." There is nothing like watching and listening to the person I love glorify God with his talents. Everytime it hits me and I love him more because of how he uses his God given talents. Now, I don't have those talents and even if I did I don't know if I could get up there and do what he does. It is because of my fears....

Today Vaughn preached and asked us to ask ourselves what we need to let go of to follow him more closely. I didn't even need to think about it, its my fears. Fears get me in almost every aspect of my life. Chris has fears and used to be fearful of getting up in front of everyone and playing. But God has a way of taking away your fears to glorify him. But you have to let him and I haven't let him do that yet. At the base of my fears is not being good enough. What if I'm not a good enough daughter, sister, friend, employee, girlfriend, one day a wife, even later a mother, and what if I'm not a good enough follower of Jesus. We all have talents, mine are not those that stand out and people see on a day to day basis. I believe that God gave me strength in my relationships. The people that come and go out of my life are the most important people to me. I have a knack for remembering names, faces, conversations, etc. I strive to be the type of person that people want to be around and want to talk to. However, these fears that I have keep me from being "good enough"- which is exactly the thing I am fearful about to begin with. The world may push us to be "good enough" but God doesn't. He wants us to just let go and let him take care of everything. Trying to let go of my fears is definitely something I have to do one day at a time. Because once I let go of my fears then I can just trust God and know that he gave me the talents and the heart to be a good daughter, sister, friend, employee, girlfriend, one day a wife, even later a mother, and most importantly a follower of Jesus. Once you let go, God has an amazing way of showing up through you. I have to let go, trust God, let him strip away my fears, and relentlessly follow him in everything I do and that will strengthen all of my relationships.